Navigating the things you don't always feel the most comfortable in...

This blog, my website, the interest to begin a podcast. I was totally terrified and procrastinated for a long time. Just start it, so here I am. I am brave on the outside, but I will humbly admit that I am not so sure of myself internally. Being more artistic, I tend to throw around ideas more than making them actually stick. Which leads me to the topic of the day!

I'll be the first one to admit I am not the most comfortable on social media. Not because I don't understand how to use it or that tech scares me, but more so the fact that I just don't GET THE HYPE. I have used, for years, multiple media sites. I understand how they work; some good, some not so good. What confuses me the most though, is the extreme need to "check in".

I enjoy seeing pictures of my family members and friends, their weekend experiences, milestones reached, activities and vacations. Especially, the ones who have moved away or don't live nearby. I have plenty of people that I don't get to physically see on a regular basis. As heart breaking as that may be, I know I can pull up my feed and see some new experience, quickly reply, send an emoji or DM and ALL IS WELL. This is how it was meant to be though, right?

Then there is another side to this. The side that has me navigating the uncomfortable. How did we get to a point where it was necessary to follow and need others to follow us THAT WE DON'T EVEN KNOW? How are we comfortable with our lives being out there for strangers to have an opinion about, for us to be influenced by and we actually are growing to CARE! That we display our every thought, like a private diary and actually get into fights online: WITH STRANGERS!

And there's the angle of actual famous people that we want to follow, knowing that we won't get a follow back; yet we are intrigued by what they do, how they do it and what they look like while doing it. Like we are owed this right of Voyeurism. Social media has made this the normal. I am guilty (mostly bands, atrists, hair stylists). I follow. I like. I am curious at times. But I don't expect anything out of it. I don't interact, in hopes of building a comradery. It's OKAY, I'll be over here, scrolling by.

Yet here I am trying to cultivate this site, while using my voice to be as transparent as possible. I know that it will at some point, come with judgment, scrutiny and possibly even some negativity... I will have to endure the feelings; I will reflect on who I am, regardless of who stops by and choose to still be true to me! And I will be grateful for all of it, even as uncomfortable as I may be, in it. Everything in strides, right?

Putting a lot of thought into who I am, what makes me ME and making sure I like that girl enough; is allowing me to put this into fruition. I like people, I enjoy listening way more than I feel the need to talk. So here's to being less than comfortable. Like I tell my kids: TRY. BECAUSE ONE DAY YOU"LL WISHED YOU HAD.

But I can't be alone in this? It's weird, right?!!!